Let me create a moment that us girls are all too familiar with…
It's your Christmas night out tonight. After a days shopping for that brand spanking new festive frock you have just had a nice relaxing defuzzing douche (that’s a shower to you and me), washed the hair TWICE to break down the product-ridden-back-combed masterpiece, exfoliated the nose, cheeks and forehead, tweezed out those stray moustache hairs (don’t deny it), blow dried the hair (upside down of course for maximum volumeage!), fake baked those legs and arms (not forgetting to apply extra to the elbows, knees and heels), applied your most skilful slap, wrestled with a pair of ‘waist-wonders’, slipped on the slinky silhouetted sequined and sparkly sale dress (bought that day for the "still-rather-expensive-for-the-lack-of-material" price of £50), stepped into some stilettos and just about topped yourself with a dose of DKNY! You feel great and are almost tempted to smile at yourself in the mirror (ok, you do!) when your other half, in a state of style shock, insists,
“YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT DRESSED LIKE THAT!”
Pardon?
When did your boyfriend, who was more than happy to meet you dressed in your "confident clothes"’, suddenly turn into your father?
It seems ladies, we are not alone…
Shakira's boyfriend has urged her to be less sexy. The Columbian singer admits Antonio de la Rua - the son of former Argentine President Fernando de la Rua - was shocked the first time he saw her revealing outfit for the video She Wolf, in which she cavorts in a cage appearing to wear just a black belt and stilettos.
Although I feel that wearing just a belt is possibly beyond the reach of the Fashion Police, I find the whole situation extremely amusing and empowering.
Ah yes, the female of the species have finally taken control of their men through fashion. Gok Wan would be so proud…
Just think what we could do? I can finally insist that he does the dishes or I’ll dress in designer hot pants to Asda. Or I’ll wear a corset to a christening unless he Hoovers the hall. How lovely - I’m beginning to feel the endless list of housework slowly disappear as I style outfits from my bottom drawer.
Oh, and since the chaos of Christmas shopping is sneaking upon us like a snake who sucks sterling, perhaps he would love to do ALL the shopping…and pay for it too. That is if I can find a Mrs. Claus one piece!
In reality, I would never, ever, eeeeeever show off stockings in a shop or dance in a diamante dishcloth, but the idea of making this time of year just that little bit easier does sweeten the silly situation!
So if you want to win your way this Christmas there is only one answer a woman can respond with to this statement – “Will you wash my car if I don't go out like this?"
Laura Marks is a finalist in stv.tv's The Write Factor competition. The views expressed are not necessarily those of STV plc. If you would like to read more from this writer, use our comment system below.
