“It’s easy to be cynical”. That’s what people say, and who am I to disappoint you all? Flicking through the news I’ve found it difficult to contain the darker elements of my soul. With that, you’re probably trying to work out which news story caused this. Was it the medical report that merited the headlines "designer vaginas under attack"? No, reading that cheered me up by conjuring images of some forgotten gem of the US 1950s B-Movie scene. Kind of like Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space but a little bit more risqué.
Was it the revelation that Alex Salmond had given his dentist a free ticket for Homecoming? Nope. I’ve no quibble with Eck on that one. One unpleasant appointment in the diary deserves another.
Was it Jo Wood finally instigating divorce proceedings against her estranged husband Ronnie? No again. I perfectly understand where Jo’s coming from in feeling that Ronnie has humiliated her by taking up with his young Russian girlfriend. Humiliated her in the sense that it gave Jo a high enough profile to make those toe-curling appearances on Strictly Come Dancing.
It was none of those things. What drew my cynicism was the news that a new computer has been launched specifically for the Over 65s market. The Simplicity Computer. So what does this great development involve? Well, it comes with a simplified desktop that features just six buttons, clearly labeling basic functions like using chat or email. Let's just hope you don’t have to order the computer over the internet in the first place.
So what will the more mature web user be looking to do online? Well, at least if the aforementioned Ronnie Wood’s dalliance with his Russian girlfriend falters, he’ll find the words “Google” and “Russian Brides” to be invaluable in sourcing a new companion.
I’m not sure that the explosion of social networking sites will find favour with senior citizens though. Twitter, for example, limits users to posting 140 characters at a time. What’s the point, they may feel, in telling someone about your day if that chat’s not going to last long enough to be done over a nice cup of tea?!
Anyway, it’s all very well being sarky, but what is actually wrong with the notion of reaching the estimated 6million UK OAPs who have never been online and introducing them to the wonders of the internet? Nothing. Where my cynicism kicks in is in wondering if that’s really the point of the product.
For me, it’s just the thin end of the wedge. The computer games companies have finally found a way to cash in on the grey pound. The retired are the great untapped market of the games industry. Schoolkids have to go to school during the day (though how conscientious they are in doing so can vary), students have to go to university during the day (well…university or…the pub), but the retired can potentially kick back and enjoy the latest releases all day long.
But what can they expect? Consider the most popular games of the moment. Sing-star, Guitar Hero, DJ Hero. Effectively, we’re dealing with sing-a-longs for the digital age. Who loves a sing-a-long more than your Gran? Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the sobering thought of your Christmas cheer evaporating when, after the meal, she eagerly pulls out the latest copy of…Accordion Hero! Anyway, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and play my Grandad at Richard Corsie’s Pro-Evolution Crown Green Bowls…
Teddy Craig is a finalist in stv.tv's Write Factor competition. The views expressed are not necessarily those of STV plc. If you would like to read more from this writer, use our comment system below.
