The Scotch Snap: Peter Andre's erotic novel and other tortures

This week we learned that Peter Andre is planning on writing an erotic novel for men. So many jokes, so little time.

Jennifer Lopez's boyfriend has a funny name, but that's not as funny as him fretting over buying her a wedding ring. Oh, the japes!

We'll also be calling the stars, telling Chuck D he's great, asking Misha B to namecheck cricket in her new single and playing some great Scottish stuff from Zed Penguin.

Releases shown: Kasabian - Switchblade Smiles (out now); Misha B - Homerun (out now); Public Enemy - I Shall Not be Moved (from Most of My Heroes Still Don't Appear on no Stamp - out now); King Charles and Mumford and Sons - Brightest Lights (out now); Zed Penguin - Heathens (from Red Tulip, Yellow Tulip EP, out July 28) .

*Musical note: the Scotch Snap technically consists of a stressed (ie on the beat) sixteenth note, or semiquaver, followed by a dotted eighth note or quaver. Usually dotted rythms have the longer note first; it is that reversal of expectation that makes the snap so distinctive. It is a key rhythmic signature of Scottish traditional music.

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Previously on Scotch Snap...

July 11: T in the Park and stealing U2's millions

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