Like lambs to the slaughter the celebrity contestants entered Hell’s Kitchen, doe-eyed and dew still hung in their hair.
Over the past ten days their numbers have been whittled down; Jody Latham was first to go, popular as the plague. Next was bovine-brained Bovey and finally, throwing himself onto the gastronomic grenade, was Bruce Grobbelaar who graciously resigned.
That left five, now grizzled and stove-scarred celebrities, who woke to find the garden filled with spring lambs. This being Hell’s Kitchen you would forgiven for assuming that these pint-sized sheep were walking main courses.
After previously failing to flambé the live crayfish Ms Dynamite was in a precarious position. Having disappointed herself and letting her team down the singer was summoned to Marco’s lair (read: office). There the head chef imparted nuggets of fortune-cookie wisdom which seemed to buoy Niomi’s confidence.
But nothing seems to perk the celebrities up more than a visit from their nearest and dearest over the pass. Nearly completely separated from the outside world, it’s a fleeting opportunity to lean out over the Hell’s Kitchen abyss and see a familiar face.
Anthea was certainly the most the most popular of the contestants, with the restaurant often resembling one of her dinner parties. But whilst television presenter may have had the quantity the quality of her visitors was left somewhat lacking. After all who would have thought you’d be seeing Bobby Davro back on our screens anytime soon.
Danielle Bux got to see her children and a kiss from a pair ears with a man attached, Adrian hugged wife and fellow comedian Jennifer Saunders whilst Ms Dynamite laughed alongside her family.
The only celebrity left out in the cold was the Dynasty star Linda Evans, who watched stoically on as Anthea grappled with one gumming troglodyte-like z-list celebrity after another. Coleen Nolan, Davro, the irrepressible force Dr Fox all crashed against the pass like breakwater, for one moment illuminated by the stove-light and the lime-light before sinking back into an obscuring ocean of the hungry diners.
All the while the lovely Linda held her head high and smiled.
