The STV Trailer Park: with Taken 2, Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2, and Keith Lemon: The Film

Taken was one of those marvellous films that had no right to be as good as it was. (Actually, that’s not quite true, as technically any movie which stars Liam Neeson as a badass dad and retired CIA operative deserves to be smothered in riches and glories.)

In the few years since expectations have now been raised to such an extent that this first trailer for the sequel has already gone viral around the globe, inspiring mass frothing of the mouth in at least seven different continents.

So, was the first one just lightning in a bottle? Will Neeson’s character be allowed at least five minutes of peace with his family before all hell breaks loose? Will it become a bit morally dubious to see him still slaying East Europeans en masse? Will he eventually incorporate some terrible catchphrase like “This time you’ve taken yourself to the GRAVE”? How long can anybody possibly wait to find out? How many more questions can I get away with? (Release date: October 5)

Despite all the hate for it, I didn’t actually mind the first Twilight. However, the series seemed to go from bad to worse as it stumbled along, so much so that – were the last film in the franchise to feature nothing more than Taylor Lautner doing camp werewolf snarls, Robert Pattinson checking out his prosthetic fangs in a mirror, and Kristen Stewart biting her lip while making some meringues – I’d probably consider it to be a marked improvement on the last effort.

To their credit, though, by the looks of the first proper trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 the producers have at least tried to incorporate something vaguely resembling a story. They’ve even got a properly good actor (Michael Sheen) onboard to do that campy Brit villain thing that never fails to be mind-numbingly boring. How can you resist? It'll be hard, unless you have any brains whatsoever in that thick old (or young) head of yours. (Release date: November 16)

Friends With Kids sees some of the team from Bridesmaids reunite, and it’s nice to see them take on a little different, rather than just cashing in with a sequel to that hugely successful movie (and rushing it in the process as happened with The Hangover). Mainly, though it’s just good to see Jon Hamm of Mad Men, 30 Rock, and various other projects that make even rigidly straight men want to swoon like they’re in Wuthering Heights. (Release date: this Friday)

The Perks of Being a Wallflower features a particular fine young cast, including Emma Watson, Logan Lerman (Percy Jackson) and Ezra Miller (of We Need to Talk About Kevin). Ah, youngsters being obnoxious as they try to cope with school pressures, this looks most perfectly unbearable! (Release date: October 5)

Last and most certainly least is the full trailer for Keith Lemon: The Film. You may find the character hilarious on the small screen – and you would be wrong for that, unfortunately – but do you really believe he can make the leap to leave audiences rolling about in the cinema aisles? If you do, please watch this trailer then politely apologies afterwards to everyone who heard you, and perhaps even felt inclined to believe you. (Release date: August 24)

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