This Means War is a big-budget action comedy from McG, the director of the Charlie’s Angels movies and Terminator Salvation. (I’d say don’t hold that against him, but...)
Both on something of a hot streak, Tom Hardy and Chris Pine star here as top-drawer CIA agents who turn out to both be dating the same girl! And it’s Reece Witherspoon, striking a blow for feminism! Gozoinks!!!
These apparently elite ‘intelligence’ agents then use taxpayers' resources to try and take the other out in what I guess is supposed to be a knockabout romp. (Why they couldn't just call 'shotgun' over it is beyond me.) Well, others may find it enjoyable, but with each onscreen explosion I just see funds wasted that could have been used for eight maths teachers for underprivileged kids. Best avoided, I say. (Release date: February 17)
Hmm, there's yet more CIA operatives battling each other in Safe House, this time played by Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington. What, can’t these guys so much as go to the toilet without first ordering a drone attack on a colleague? This thankfully concentrates on the wham-bang side of things, and featuring at least a couple of plot twists looks well equipped to keep the audience on its toes. (Release date: February 24)
But anyway, to move on from all that clichéd nonsense let’s move on with Haywire, in which a black ops super soldier seeks payback after being betrayed and set up during a mission. Hrm.
But wait, this time it’s a female black ops super soldier! Given that the central role is played by real-life MMA fighter Gina Carano there’s bound to be a decent amount of proper ass-kicking, but director Steven Soderbergh has also somehow managed to rope in Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Channing Tatum, Antonio Banderas and even Michael Douglas for the ride. And with that, we suddenly have a movie on our hands... (Release date: January 20)
Hugo is something of a bold leap for legendary director Martin Scorsese, who is best known for tales from the wrong side of the tracks. Here he’s created a family adventure specifically shot to make best use of 3D, and if this is an indication of what top tier directors can do with the extra dimension then bring it on, as this immediately seems beguiling and bewitching.
Set in 1930s Paris, this is the tale of an orphan living in the walls of a train station who then finds himself wrapped up in a mystery involving his late father. The stellar cast includes Sacha Baron Cohen, Sir Ben Kingsley, Ray Winstone, Jude Law, Emily Mortimer and Christopher Lee, and by the looks of its trailer Hugo should be a joy, one arriving just in time to bring us some Christmas spirit. (Release date: December 2)
Let’s end in a suitably heartbreaking way with Like Crazy, which stars Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones as two young lovers having to deal with premature separation. If anyone who’s had a long-distance relationship isn't moved by this trailer, then... Well, no wonder it didn’t work out then, you HEARTLESS BEAST. Anyway, this looks rather beautiful. (Release date: February 3)
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