Ah, the new trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, the movie that will finally answer the question that’s been on everybody’s lipped now: what do you do when you get hitched to a sparkly member of the undead who then romps with you on a tropics honeymoon and leaves you preggers with some half-human, half-vampire pre-‘bundle of joy’ that may just be the death of you?
Since Jeremy Kyle is apparently taking his show Stateside perhaps Bella and Edward could have sought his advice – it’d probably amount to hectoring Edward about not having a proper job – but in lieu of that, no doubt Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson will just have a pout-off instead while Taylor Lautner searches for an excuse to get his top off and act all scowly. Who would want it any other way? This is a romance to make Gone With The Wind look like an episode of Eldorado, believe me. (Release date: November 18)
And on to more matters of the heart. Crazy, Stupid, Love looks like it might be one of those rare things: a romantic comedy that doesn’t speak down to its audience, and manages to be both funny and a bit tender without being too schmaltzy. Well, one can dream, anyway.
It’s not hurt by having a great cast led by Steve Carell and Ryan Gosling, with one as a family man who’s lost his wife and needs some tips on dating, and the other a ladies’ man tiring of playing the field. (Shouldn’t be too hard to guess who’s going to be who.) Also featuring Julianne Moore and Emma Stone, this would be worth seeing for the cast alone, and given that all four movie stars are pretty canny at choosing their films – Evan Almighty excepted – hopefully this should be something a step up from its competitors. (Release date: September 23)
You Instead, the romantic comedy shot in a matter of days at last year’s T in the Park by Young Adam and Hallam Foe director David Mackenzie, is out this Friday. We talked to Mackenzie about the tremendous challenge its filming involved back at the Glasgow Film Festival in February, and you can also read our review from its premiere there. Suffice to say, by the end anyone who’s been at T will feel more than a touch nostalgic, and quite probably wishing festival season in the UK hasn’t just come to an end... (Release date: September 16)
Haywire is an intriguing proposition, with Ocean’s 11 and Traffic director Steven Soderbergh taking a relatively unknown proposition – MMA fighter Gina Carano – and surrounding her with a wealth of acting talent including our very own Ewan McGregor, Michael Douglas, Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Bill Paxton and Channing Tatum. Could this action movie about a black ops super soldier seeking payback after being betrayed be the new Bourne? It certainly seems to have aspirations in that regards, and at the very least looks a welcome step up fromSalt. (Release date: January 20)
Shark Night 3D – need anything more be said after the title’s mentioned? A bunch of buffed-up tanned bozos and bimbos providing cannon fodder for Jaws’s more schlocky, far less chilling cousin. Hopefully no-one involved has any aspirations for awards season, as this looks unlikely to even win a gong for ‘Best Horror Movie Featuring Sharks and in 3D and Which Might Take Place at Night’. (That’ll probably go to Bait 3D, which has somehow manages to have KILLER SHARKS IN A SUPERMARKET.) (Release date: September 30)
Ah, who remembers the glory days of Richard E Grant? Judging by the trailer for First Night we’re a long, long way away from that halcyon period of this actor’s career. The Scottish Opera apparently provide some of the singing for this ‘frothy comedy’ in which life imitates art as Grant’s character attempts to realise his dream of staging Mozart's comic opera Cosi Fan Tutte – at his own stately abode. Hilarity is no doubt intended to abound, though the Shark Night 3D trailer provided far more laughs than this effort did. (Release date: October 14)
You can find all the delightful trailers for the latest movies, including these and more, in our film trailers section.